Why is good co-parenting so important to your child? It doesn’t matter if your together or divorced, good co-parenting is always helpful to your child. There are so many reasons why it’s important. I’m not speaking to one parent or the other, I’m speaking to you both. There may be problems in your relationship together if your divorced, those issues need to be put to the side for your child. You should both have your child’s best interest at heart.
Divorced parents especially in the beginning have a lot of anger, frustration, and even loath the other parent at times. This of course is not always the case, but if it is in your case, those feelings need to be put to the side. You can discuss those feelings with your ex-spouse when your child is not around to hear your discussions. When your co-parenting it is always important to keep your feelings towards your ex-spouse out of the conversations about your child. Be civil and discuss the problems at hand, how they are doing in school, if they have received a punishment at one home or the other and so on. I can tell you that if your child sees there is a break in your communication, the way you work together, they will take full advantage of it and play you against each other. Your job as parents are to provide a united front in the best interest of your child.
What do I mean by a united front? Co-parenting no matter if your together or apart is still a rough job. In order to have a good co-parenting you must always have open dialogue between parents, so that both parents are understanding what is going on in there child’s life. If your not communicating between both parents to keep everyone on the same page, your dropping the ball on your co-parenting. Your not hurting yourself or the other parent by doing this your hurting your child. The lines of communication must always be open, and talk about all subjects that pertain to your child together.
I can tell you from experience that co-parenting is not always easy, and the co-parent does not always take as much interest in parenting. You should make an effort to include the other parent in every decision that is made as much as possible. If your co-parent is lacking, discuss it with them, do not accuse, but request their opinion on something that is going on. Discuss why their opinion is important to your child, and that you value their opinion as the co-parent, then it is up to them to take part in co-parenting. You can only do your part if the other co-parent is not willing to take part.
How is the to best work together when co-parenting? What are the most important co-parenting topics?
* Discipline ~ Discuss what proper punishment is for different things that your child does, Such as taking a toy/cell phone or other items away. If they should be grounded, how long should they be grounded for and it should be at both homes if your not together. Do not make one parent the “bad guy” to discipline all the time, it is not fair to that parent and your child realizes that you are a push over. Discipline together and provide a united front for your child, and teach them good parenting skills that they will use when they have children.
* School ~ Both parents should be sure to attend concerts, do homework help, fundraise, come up with crazy hair day, PJ day and other special events at school together. No, you do not have to sit together but both parents should be there to support your child. Attend conferences together so that everyone is on the same page with your child’s needs and how to help them improve or whatever is needed.
* When Your Child Is Upset ~ It doesn’t matter what your child is upset about, something that happened at school, a friend hurt their feelings, something that one of you did as a parent, or something else. You can discuss it with them and encourage them to call and discuss it with your co-parent as well so they have both of your opinions. If you choose to discuss it with them on your own, be sure to fill the other parent in that you talked to your child about this they were very upset and how you handled it.
It’s very important that your child sees you both co-parenting so that they can have a healthy relationship and your setting the ground work for them to know to co-parent in their own children’s lives when they have them. They learn by seeing what you as a parent does and how you handle things. If you want them to take an active roll then it is your job as parents to show them how you work together and how even though sometimes it’s not easy, you still come together for their best interest. A mother and father brought them into the world and both should make every attempt to protect, teach, and be there for this beautiful child that you created.